The year is coming to an end and I know that it was a very difficult year for many of us. Dealing with COVID-19 was, and still is, quite difficult but I believe that most of us found a way to coop with this situation as much as possible. This year definitely taught me many lessons. Some of them were very challenging and painful while others were simply amazing. I appreciate all of those lessons since they helped me to grow and become a better version of myself. Here are my top reflections:

Being busy doesn’t always mean success

I have the personality where I like to fill up most of my time and tackle never ending To-Do lists. I did that because I felt like I am not a hard worker if I didn’t constantly work or improve myself. However, I noticed that by doing this, I lost joy in working on projects and self-development. This concerned me. I needed to change something. I contemplated on my tasks and was very honest with myself. I cut out as much as possible and focused only on my top 3 priorities. I immediately felt relief, more motivation and joy to work on those necessary items.

Listen to your gut – always 

I have made a lot of progress with this over time. Nevertheless, I still ran into situations where I questioned my internal feelings. I realized that it came from my habit of not believing in myself enough and trying to please others. Reflecting on this, it reminded me that if I truly listen to my gut and be true to myself, I know what is best for me and what feels right. I love this quote from Karen Moning: “The most confused we ever get is when we try to convince our heads of something that we know in our hearts is a lie” because it summarizes my thoughts perfectly. 

It is OK not to be always liked

I am not talking about ignoring other people’s feelings or suggesting to be rude or self-centered. I just know that it is impossible to be liked by everyone. There will always be people who won’t agree with my decisions or choices on how to live my life and that is OK. I am the only person who has to love my life. It sounds selfish but I think it is quite the opposite. I believe that self-love is the most important ingredient to having a great relationship with important people in my life and that includes myself. 

Sit with discomfort 

A very dear friend, who teaches mindfulness practice, recommended this to me. If I struggled mentally, I usually found ways to cope with the feelings or distract myself. I always tried to find immediate solutions to make the pain go away. Through mindfulness, I learned to focus on the present moment even if it meant I experienced the negative feelings because it is ok to sit with the pain. I learned that the struggles won’t go away with distractions or short-term remedies. It’s okay to sit with the uncomfortable feelings. Don’t judge yourself for having the emotions. Let them be and accept them. They will eventually pass. 

It is okay not to excel at everything 

I have a big vision for myself and can be quite idealistic at times. This, however, puts a lot of pressure on myself and can lead to constant feelings of guilt. For example, while being newly pregnant, I had this idea to have the healthiest pregnancy. I wanted to eat the best food and exercise as much as I could. The ill feelings and crazy food aversions had another idea. I simply couldn’t handle healthy foods all the time and that’s okay. So what if I couldn’t eat healthy all of the time or maybe I could but chose not to. It didn’t mean that I wasn’t having a good pregnancy. There were other things I did really well…like exercise. I realized that I should focus on those instead of beating myself up for not excelling at the desired, “all perfect” pregnancy.

It is not my goal to 100% succeed in all of these realizations. Rather, I want to be aware of them and work towards them while being kind, understanding, and gentle to myself. 

I am curious. Can you relate to any of those points? Did you come to other conclusions about areas in your life that you would like to improve? If so, I would love for you to share these with me. 

Wishing you all a very joyful and Happy New Year 2021!